“Why do you stay?” asks the therapist

I am not sure exactly if he meant it the way it sounds, but he really did ask me “Why do you stay in this marriage?” last week.

We haven’t gone to this therapist together for a couple of years.  Hubby had been going to him for his depression up until a little while ago.  I had called for an appointment and went alone to discuss something awful that happened the week before last.  Yes, I haven’t blogged about it.  I was embarrassed.  And upset. And a bit horrified too.

If you have read some of my older posts, it won’t be a surprise that we both can get angry.  But I THOUGHT my husband knew the limits of what was acceptable in front of the kids.  Apparently, he doesn’t.  😦

One morning my daughter didn’t want to go to school. So she was doing everything in her 4yo power to stop or delay going to school.  My husband lost his temper and started shouting. I asked him to calm down.  He got more angry and louder, shouting at me now too.  He stormed – off baby in the sling nearly dragging girl down the street, still shouting at her.  I followed – starting to worry that he might hurt her… (by accident but still.)  He gets more angry, etc…    More shouting, yelling, etc. 

With my sister’s intervention (baby was going to her house) I end up taking girl to school and he storms off.

The next day, what does he say?… “I’m sorry, I lost my temper”   In the words of the therapist – “That isn’t good enough.”

Now I have to figure out …

I wrote the first part of this post a little more than a week ago.  I didn’t know what to do.  I have since told husband that I saw the therapist due to his anger after he stated that he wanted to stop yelling “That it has gotten to be a bad habit.”  

I am sure that I will need to keep on telling him when he is behaving poorly…but at least for now he is starting to realize it is a problem.