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My new motto?

May 27, 2011

You know when you get an idea and then you see echos of that idea everywhere?

A couple of days ago when writing the post “I am the problem?”  I got the idea to use the carrot rather than the stick on my husband.  🙂    No, really.  To complement the good things he does and ignore the rest (except out of control behavior, of course.)

Then I kept seeing similar ideas:

  • What An Emergency Landing Taught Me About Marriage  Basically a tale of two airport experiences: Alisa talks about how she “charmed” a gate agent into helping her. Later she saw a man yelling and demanding, she relates how that didn’t work for him.  The post is tied up with asking which behavior do we all typically use in our marriages?     
    Yup guilty of that!
  • Who Goes First? This author talks about who should be the first one to start being more positive in the marriage. His answer? Whoever is the most mature. Basically the “mature” one is the only one who can “suck it up” (my term not his) and “do the right thing” (his term)
  • 7 Small Things You Can Do Today to Improve Your Marriage  Ones that echoed most for me “Consider holding back one criticism today, especially if it really isn’t that big of a deal. ”  and “Be consciously grateful for the good things in your life, even when you have some very bad things happening.”  and on the happy side “Find something to laugh about together”  and “Perform a very small kindness for your partner”

I have also been thinking about my goals (See this post.)  I found I was writing stuff like:

  • Laugh and have fun together
  • able to ask for help
  • nice

So, I decide that I need motto. Maybe an image to go with it.  Something that brings together the ideas of being happy and nice.  Pleasant. Charming.    Maybe even adds a dash of graceful (I have always thought that was a great word.  I aspire to be graceful – which, for me, means a person that handles adversity and the unexpected smoothly and pleasantly.) 

You know – the person that we all wish to be!   Not a doormat. But asks for what they want in a charming way. 

I am going to be searching for images and characters (books? movies? TV?) that embody these traits.  My sister has a friend like that, maybe I need to go take lessons 🙂

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 28, 2011 9:32 am

    I like your definition of graceful. I, too, strive for that. It makes me think of Jackie Kennedy. Sound like you are doing everything to make sure you are giving it your best shot!

  2. May 31, 2011 6:52 pm

    Marriage is not easy. It takes work. It sounds like you are giving it all you can! 🙂

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