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Besieged (not really, just feels that way)

June 4, 2013

I had a great post all planned out today. I was going to talk about all the great advice I have when your Ex (or soon to be ex, or significant other) is behaving a bit crazy, angry and stalker-ish.

But I can’t finish it.

I realized that I was stressing myself out and thinking about the situation while trying to write the post. So, for my mental health, that post is going have to wait a little while.

Today I still feel besieged. I think it is a little PTSD and waiting for the next crazy to hit. I am trying to breath… To stop thinking about HIM and just be present in my life. But it is so HARD.

Why?

Divorce trial was prevented by 30 minutes on Friday when he signed the papers (Yeah?!?). Two nasty texts and a voicemail that afternoon. Saturday was quiet. Sunday – several nasty texts. (No, I don’t read them, just a quick glance to see “yup, nasty message” and I turn the phone off.)

Monday (yesterday), my mom received nasty phone call, voice mails, and a broken former-present hung on her mailbox with nasty messages written on in.

I received 10 calls in two hours. When it became clear he wouldn’t stop until I talked to him, I called and let him rant for 4 minutes. Which he wouldn’t start until I said “I am listening to you”. (!). (When it became clear that the rant was an intimidation via anger, I recorded the rest of it, if needed.)

Last night, he sent a text at 10:30. While, the content was fine (he thanked me for listening) it was after I went to sleep and just got my fight-and-flight going again. I didn’t get back to sleep for more than a hour. (Which, actually, was pretty good, considering)

And now I am stressing about the THREE school/dance events that my daughter has early next week that will require both of our attendance.

I changed the lock again yesterday.

I am going to talk to my mother-in-law about her doing all the pickups and drop offs without him for the next while.

I called the kids schools to let them know what is going on.

And I am going to keep breathing. And reminding myself that I am not in danger. And my kids are not in danger. There is not need to have fight-or-flight.

Just breath.

Just breath…

D

PS- all has been quiet for the past 36 hours! Yeah! Yes, if it continued I was going to contact the authorities. Luckily that was not necessary, because it actually would have made him MORE angry. :-(. Linking up with Shell’s Pour your heart out

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 6, 2013 3:01 pm

    I’m glad it’s quieted down- I hope it stays that way!

  2. June 6, 2013 8:43 pm

    I understand all you’re feeling. I’ve been through a similar situation in 1998 while separating from my 1st husband. I still have PTSD moments that sneak in when something triggers them, Thankfully, they are fleeting now.

    It can be scary when dealing with someone in that frame of mind. Thinking of you!

  3. June 14, 2013 2:27 am

    yiiiiikes. he sounds like a real doozy. i’m so sorry. you shouldn’t have to live like that. i hope and pray for peace for you, moments of rest, and that this chapter would be behind you soon.

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