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Slacking off at work, self-control and yelling

May 21, 2013

Tonight, I didn’t yell. And it was pretty good.

Researcher Roy Baumeister has shown that we start each day with a limited amount of self-control, and as we use it – when resist saying something inappropriate…. Or make tough decisions – we gradually deplete it. As our self-control gets used up, we find it harder to resist new temptations.

From Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin (pg 120)

Reading this quote this evening made me wonder if the fact that I gave up working at 4:30 had something to do with my Not Yelling success tonight? I wasn’t grindingly tired and scrambling for something to cook for hungry children.

Which was a good thing since I think my daughter had 3 or 4 screaming / sobbing tantrums tonight. (Including hitting me.)

I was empathetic but firm. (I felt possessed by my inner social worker “I hear by your tone of voice that your are very upset right now”…. ). And once I stayed calm the first time, it was easier to stay calm for the later temper tantrums.

And now I know a dirty little secret…. You feel very powerful when you stay calm and the other person is losing it! I think the fact that I was calm actually made my daughter more upset, but I got a little thrill out of it. (Ok, I feel a little bad admitting it…. Just a little.)

Here’s to more No yelling, no nattering days!


2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 21, 2013 2:31 am

    Good luck with no yelling! I usually fall off the wagon around day 12… But always hop back on again. The No Yell Challenge was the reason I began my blog a few months ago. It’s tough but you’re so right- it can be really empowering to feel like the only one in control. Your blog is great- can’t wait to read more from you! Peace, Mama!

  2. May 22, 2013 4:05 am

    I wish I didn’t yell so much. But I do. I’m a yeller. I’m working on it though.

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