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Week 24/52 – Cherish

June 17, 2013
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I have taken 242 pictures in the past 6 days! Dance open house, dance recital, teacher presents, last day of school, kindergarten graduation, grand father in town, summer party prep & party, and Father’s Day presents… Yikes! Busy week.

Here are some ordinary moments to cherish for the week;

Hiding items in play dough and then cutting them out
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Week 23/52 – Cherish

June 11, 2013
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Here are my images for this week:

Yes we got to EAT some strawberries (only a couple had bunny bites)

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Pretending to be a doggy
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I worked hard for years on the side yard to have blooms… “Fruit” of my labor
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My son has discovered Legos!
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check out him looking at the plan…and reconstructing the mini figs
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Besieged (not really, just feels that way)

June 4, 2013

I had a great post all planned out today. I was going to talk about all the great advice I have when your Ex (or soon to be ex, or significant other) is behaving a bit crazy, angry and stalker-ish.

But I can’t finish it.

I realized that I was stressing myself out and thinking about the situation while trying to write the post. So, for my mental health, that post is going have to wait a little while.

Today I still feel besieged. I think it is a little PTSD and waiting for the next crazy to hit. I am trying to breath… To stop thinking about HIM and just be present in my life. But it is so HARD.

Why?

Divorce trial was prevented by 30 minutes on Friday when he signed the papers (Yeah?!?). Two nasty texts and a voicemail that afternoon. Saturday was quiet. Sunday – several nasty texts. (No, I don’t read them, just a quick glance to see “yup, nasty message” and I turn the phone off.)

Monday (yesterday), my mom received nasty phone call, voice mails, and a broken former-present hung on her mailbox with nasty messages written on in.

I received 10 calls in two hours. When it became clear he wouldn’t stop until I talked to him, I called and let him rant for 4 minutes. Which he wouldn’t start until I said “I am listening to you”. (!). (When it became clear that the rant was an intimidation via anger, I recorded the rest of it, if needed.)

Last night, he sent a text at 10:30. While, the content was fine (he thanked me for listening) it was after I went to sleep and just got my fight-and-flight going again. I didn’t get back to sleep for more than a hour. (Which, actually, was pretty good, considering)

And now I am stressing about the THREE school/dance events that my daughter has early next week that will require both of our attendance.

I changed the lock again yesterday.

I am going to talk to my mother-in-law about her doing all the pickups and drop offs without him for the next while.

I called the kids schools to let them know what is going on.

And I am going to keep breathing. And reminding myself that I am not in danger. And my kids are not in danger. There is not need to have fight-or-flight.

Just breath.

Just breath…

D

PS- all has been quiet for the past 36 hours! Yeah! Yes, if it continued I was going to contact the authorities. Luckily that was not necessary, because it actually would have made him MORE angry. :-(. Linking up with Shell’s Pour your heart out

Week 22/52 – Cherish

June 3, 2013
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Here are my images this week…having trouble getting it down to four… Does it count if I have multiple pictures of the same event? 😉

Some strawberry plants jumped the fence to our side… Kids are hoping we can eat the red ones before the bunnies do.
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My daughter decided to make something to go with her new frontier outfit (little ankle things… kinda like high button shoes.) Here she is sewing them. Love it!
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Visiting the local history site with friends (in her new outfit)
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My kitchen assistants:
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We made 2 dozen strawberry muffins and ate half in one day!

Have a great week!
D

Week 21/52 – Cherish

May 28, 2013

Here are my images for the week:
Friday off with my daughter. She wanted to visit my work, so we went to lunch nearby.
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Friday night “sleepover” in her brothers room
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Playing in the backyard (after 20 bags of mulch!)
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Memorial Day picnic cake at my aunts with all the cousins
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Magenta and orange

May 23, 2013

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On the way home last night I picked up some magenta nail polish to go with my orange nail polish…

Orange for the orange rhino no yelling challenge.

Magenta to remind me to not be a nattering magenta monkey (otherwise I will just replace yelling with nattering!)

I would love to say I have been knocking it out of the park…but that wouldn’t be true. My kids have been having a REALLY hard time getting to sleep (it has been hot and we aren’t prepared with fans, etc) so there has been some ragged evenings (and mornings).

But I keep breathing…. And keep looking at my nail polish…. 😉

Every time a make a better choice by not yelling and not nattering I am taking one small step forward for my kids.

Slacking off at work, self-control and yelling

May 21, 2013
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Tonight, I didn’t yell. And it was pretty good.

Researcher Roy Baumeister has shown that we start each day with a limited amount of self-control, and as we use it – when resist saying something inappropriate…. Or make tough decisions – we gradually deplete it. As our self-control gets used up, we find it harder to resist new temptations.

From Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin (pg 120)

Reading this quote this evening made me wonder if the fact that I gave up working at 4:30 had something to do with my Not Yelling success tonight? I wasn’t grindingly tired and scrambling for something to cook for hungry children.

Which was a good thing since I think my daughter had 3 or 4 screaming / sobbing tantrums tonight. (Including hitting me.)

I was empathetic but firm. (I felt possessed by my inner social worker “I hear by your tone of voice that your are very upset right now”…. ). And once I stayed calm the first time, it was easier to stay calm for the later temper tantrums.

And now I know a dirty little secret…. You feel very powerful when you stay calm and the other person is losing it! I think the fact that I was calm actually made my daughter more upset, but I got a little thrill out of it. (Ok, I feel a little bad admitting it…. Just a little.)

Here’s to more No yelling, no nattering days!

D