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“You have a bright children’s lawyer”

April 1, 2013

I was talking to one of the other mom’s at church and relating bits of my odd and pretty crazy week and she said “You have a bright children’s lawyer”. After much thought, I think I agree. šŸ™‚

Let me back up a bit. The past two weeks have been full of shenanigans from my hubby (and his mother). I had scheduled a meeting with my lawyer and the children’s lawyer to get a better picture of what the future might look like in regards to my husband and his supervised visitation (with my mother-in-law as the reluctant supervisor.)

He said some things that made me rethink how I interact with my husband. A total paradigm shift. ( I keep thinking “Really? Really, truly? That’s ok, really?”)

You see, I have been working for the past several years to keep my husband from blowing up. To prevent the kids from being involved or exposed to his anger. I thought that was my job and my role as the responsible adult. This was reinforced by comments such as “shame on everyone involved” (quote from my MIL after his last big blowup in front of the kids). I thought that it would reflect badly on me if this happens again.

So I work to not refuse him and to keep him calm.

The children’s lawyer was pretty clear… “He keeps sucking you in. Ignore him. Don’t respond. What is the worst that will happen?” This statement was after my husband left the lawyer messages early that week to complain about me not responding to him (my husband).

I asked what if something happens like this fall (the angry grabbing incident). He said “take the kids inside and lock the doors.”

It was pretty clear that the children’s lawyer wouldn’t hold this stuff against me. And really, in this situation, the children’s lawyer’s impression is the most important.

I think I am still coming to grips with what this means. But part of me feels like the blinders have been lifted and I see a brave new future…

I thought I was free from hubby, but in reality I wasn’t. But now maybe I can be…

D

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 4, 2013 3:05 am

    I love that your children’s lawyer is really an advocate for your children. What you are going through??? I can’t even I imagine. You are one strong Momma!

  2. April 4, 2013 10:40 pm

    Sounds like a smart man!

  3. April 5, 2013 1:40 am

    Sounds like a very difficult situation, and it’s great that the childrens’ lawyer has their best interests at heart. Stay strong!!

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