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Dealing with anger

February 11, 2013

I have been reading Buddhism for mothers: a calm approach to caring for yourself and your children for the last couple months.

I read about it on another blog (now I have no idea  where) but in skimming the chapters in Amazon, my standard procedure with a book suggestion, the appeal for me was the chapter titled dealing with anger

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I have read that chapter again today. I needed it! It has several points and advice that can be helpful for any mother.

One of the biggest surprises for me in past couple months was my anger. I have realized that before I channeled all of my angry feelings into anger at my husband. (Not that I am saying he didn’t deserve it – but I am saying that if the kids acted up I was able to get mad at him rather than the kids!).

Well, the husband is gone but sometimes I still get angry… And I have found that anger needs a target. Sadly, sometimes (at least in my head) that is my daughter…

It makes me feel better that the author, a longtime spiritual person, gets angry and occasionally looses it with her kids.

She goes on give thoughts and advice on how to handle the inevitable anger when dealing with small children.   Listed is 5 different options for dealing with angry thoughts: (pg 77)

  1. Dwell on the positive
  2. Consider the results of your thoughts
  3. Distract yourself
  4. Consider the alternatives
  5. Use your willpower

What I find most interesting is that I only use #5. The others don’t even occur to me.

Maybe I need to be a little more gentle with myself and try some of the other ways to deal with anger?

PS – I am not a Buddhist.  Actually this is the first book I have ever read about the subject, but I can see the appeal and may be reading more.

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