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calm after the storm

September 27, 2010
We really LOST it yesterday afternoon.  Our minds?  Well, maybe, I wish… but in actuality our cool.  Not our best moment.  Shouting at each other.  Yelling, storming around. Worst of all it happen in front of our 3 year old daughter. (Yes honey, I will start your therapy fund tomorrow.)  We broke the number 1 rule for children.  Bad, bad, bad.
 
In our defense, we didn’t behave in threatening ways or say nasty things.  We had truly infantile behavior.  OK, maybe that was just me.  I think I was shouting “Go away! Leave me alone.”  While my husband kept yelling  “I will go away but you need a time out”.  No, duh! 
 
What set it off?  A perfect storm of 
  • Husband “working” and “napping” leaving me with both kids all day
  • a infuriating  porky 3 1/2 year old without a nap
  •  nasty running nose & sneezing all day (allergies)
  • then my husband snapping at me about some thing stupid
I knew Iwas on my last nerve – I had already called my mom for a rescue… but not in time. Bad mom. (me, not Grandma)
 
The bright side (if you can say there is a BRIGHT side) is that clearly my husband realizes that maybe we have a problem.  He was really trying to be cheerful this morning. He took the kids more today.  We actually talked about why we were upset at each other this afternoon (rather than having ANOTHER blowup) and …wait for it… listened to each other… Or at least gave a good imitation of it.  🙂
 
My instinct is to always end the conversation and go away when there is a hint of a impending blow up. (I was too far gone the other day to do this…)  Leading Husband to say I shut him down down and won’t listen to him. Maybe that isn’t the right thing to do? Or at least not always? 
 
Can’t solve the problem by doing the same thing you have always done. So maybe it is time to try something else.  I will let you know how it goes.
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